In Soviet times, the team took the most direct part in the life of an employee. He could be scolded at a general meeting for a misdemeanor; consider the statement of relatives if he behaved immorally at home; they could even organize something like a show trial if he went into complete chaos. After that, as a rule, the employee was either fired or corrected. And everyone felt like a participant in common affairs - everything was honest and open.
Now there is no such thing, but new concepts have appeared, such as "mobbing" and "bossing" - persecution of an employee by the team or by the bosses. The purpose of these actions, at first glance, looks primitive: the one who persecutes, achieves the dismissal of the employee. However, not everything is so simple, and if you have become a victim of bullying, then it is important to calmly understand the situation so as not to fall into it again and again.
Consider from the outside the situation when some become victims, and others - beaters. What is the reason for this conflict? There may be several of them:
- If an employee stands out too much against the general background of the team: when looking for a guilty person, the boss's gaze, as a rule, falls on the first person that comes across, and if a woman looks bright and original, then she will certainly become a victim of the accusation. Too bright or unusual hair color, bold outfits or excessive jewelry can all be the cause.
- The desire to oppose oneself to the team, especially the unwillingness to participate in common affairs or preparation for a corporate event, participation in competitions. It hurts colleagues if they all want to take part in the events.
- Outright ingratiating himself with superiors or trying to have an affair with the boss. Nobody will like it.
- Failure to recognize the authority of the unofficial leader of the collective and attempts to belittle him. The general opinion in this case will rise up against you.
- Unwillingness to take on additional responsibilities when everyone has them.
- The behavior of a typical "victim": currying favor with colleagues, unwillingness to respond to criticism and even open insults. This provokes further bullying.
From the side of colleagues, this looks, of course, unsightly, but it is very useful to understand the reasons that motivate people to engage in mobbing. After all, understanding the situation is a 50% guarantee that you can get out of it as a winner. So, what prompts the team to harass an employee:
- Worry that there is someone unusual nearby, not like everyone else, with unusual manners and incomprehensible looks. Colleagues do not want to strain and understand why a person is not like them. It is easier to remove this irritation factor and live as usual.
- Elementary envy. If the newcomer has achieved professional success, earned a good attitude from the boss, or achieved something very quickly, then envy may well arise: the stereotype that the longer an employee works, the more deserved he is, is still alive, although this is not always true.
- An attempt to defend himself professionally (fear that a more successful employee will be put in his place, even if you do not apply for him. This is an unconscious fear, so it is very difficult to fight it).
- Just a desire to have fun. At the same time, some believe that it is very fun to humiliate colleagues, while others feel “weakly” whether they can stand it or not. In both cases, the behavior of colleagues is unworthy, but they do not understand this.
- An attempt to assert himself at the expense of a colleague, to confirm the importance of his work and himself personally. This, unfortunately, is not uncommon in our life.
- Finding a victim on whom you can break a bad mood and on whom you can take out disappointment from your failures, both personal and professional.
How to find a way out of this situation? As a rule, understanding the reasons for mobbing or bossing already provides food for thought and suggests ways to get out of the conflict. Here you can apply a very effective method of “non-identification”, when a person looks at himself from the outside: you need to imagine that not you, but someone else has been persecuted in the team and give him advice on how to overcome this. That is, not to identify yourself with this person, but to give him advice as an outsider. In any case, it is worth considering that very often the cause of the conflict is an elementary misunderstanding.
If this does not help, try the following: consider the reasons for bullying and try to neutralize them:
- give up too bright appearance;
- follow the speech - it often happens that some statements are perceived by colleagues as inadequate;
- try to make friends by buying a cake and inviting colleagues for tea in honor of the first salary or for another reason;
- Talk frankly with the team leader and tell them that your intentions towards colleagues are the most benevolent and sincere;
- ask your colleagues for help in those matters where you are not very familiar - this will increase their image in their own eyes, and they will feel like your patrons, not enemies;
- taking on some kind of responsibility, such as watering the flowers or airing the room - it's easy, but often colleagues forget about it.
If these methods do not suit you, you can try to respond with force to force:
- put in the place of a presumptuous colleague or unbalanced boss - to say that you understand the reasons for such boorish behavior;
- mark the boundaries of your work space and your responsibilities, so that they don't hang too much and then find fault;
- find in yourself those "hooks" that unfriendly colleagues can catch on to (what you are offended at), and try to remove them;
- to learn the ways of dealing with stress with the help of breathing, meditation and other techniques - this is necessary in order to quickly calm down if it was not possible to react calmly to something, otherwise the working day will be ruined;
- understand that if you react to everything calmly (calmness should be inside), then very soon they will leave you behind.
If that doesn't help, think about whether you need this job? Perhaps it will be much easier to find another, with a more benevolent team? Then start looking for another job and live calmly on, but with a richer experience of communicating with colleagues.
